The Theology of Grief: Part 1

  

I think we can all agree that we have all experienced grief. Grief strikes people from many different directions. Grief is brought on by the death of a loved one. It can be brought on by an illness or an illness of someone you love. It can be brought on by an employer announcing, “we are letting you go.” Or a spouse saying, “I want a divorce.” Grief can happen when we watch those we love suffer from self harm. Grief can come at us when people we love make poor decisions. Many of the parents who are reading this have faced sleepless nights due to their children’s choices. Grief can strike us when friendships are lost and most definitely when betrayal happens. Grief happens when we or those close to us suffer from the hand of an abuser. Grief happens when the joy of a pregnancy is replaced with the pain of a miscarriage. The list goes on and on.    

Sadly we must realize that when it comes to the topic grief the we must realize it is not if but when…

Grief is a natural part of life. Yet, when we go through it, it rarely feels natural. We long for an escape. We desperately want a reprieve but it hangs over us like a dark cloud. A cloud that seems to mirror our every move. It does not leave us or allow us rest. So what is one one to do? 

How do we escape that which is inevitable? How do we see God in the grief? The clouds of grief don’t just place us in a shadow but seem to shield our view of the Almighty as well. Our view of heaven becomes clouded. That which once was bright becomes dark and life feels as if we live in a shadow. Grief can quickly overwhelm us. It can quickly rob us of joy. It can quickly render us helpless and often evokes feelings of hopelessness as well.

Grief is not merely something that you go through. It is something that touches every fiber of one’s being. It touches our sleep, our eating patterns, our feelings, our thoughts, our desires, our relationships, and even our dreams. It often does not leave one stone unturned. It often will haunt us every hour of the day and it is often accompanied by the thought that this will never get better. As stated above, it affects every fiber of one’s being.  

It often does not make sense. It is in these moments of grief that we strive hardest for clarity and understanding yet are often left with confusion and a pattern of answerless questions. We exhaust ourselves as we search for answers that are never to be found.  

Many us within the faith community hear well meaning Christians utter statements that we just don’t want to hear when we are grieving. The one grieving does not want to hear, “All things work together for good.” They do not want to hear, “God won’t give you more than you can bear”. When one is living inside grief it is hard to see any good and within the cycle of grief most feel they have already been given more than they can bear. Our job as Christians is never to remove the grieving. Grieving is modeled by our Savior and is part of life.  

So apart from complete surrender to the inevitable what can we do? 

Well, I would ask you to join me as I each week I will write more on this topic.  Whether you are grieving yourself or not, I can gaurantee you that you know somonebody whose life is currently being touched by grief.  So I would ask that you commit to this journey of grief with me.  For those grieving, it is important that we frame your grrief in a proper manner.  For those who know someone who is wrecked by grief it is imporant that you too understand the framework of grief.  Without proper understanding we can often do more harm than good.

The plan moving forward is to publish articles for at the least the next six wednesdays on the topic of grief.  Please feel free to share your stories in the comments section below and also share this with those you know who are currently wrecked by grief.